A Tribute to My Family’s Penis Faucet

The house I was born and raised in has a single bathroom with no lock on the door. It also contains a faucet that looks like a penis.

I’ve been fortunate to travel the world, stay in all manner of hotels, and use all manner of bathrooms, and to this day my family’s penis faucet is the best faucet I have ever used in my life.

This faucet is the epitome of good user experience. Let’s break it down:


  • Directs water upwards – Rather than having to rely on a cup or awkwardly crane my neck in order to get a drink of water, this faucet directs water to where you can quickly access it.
  • The stream is significant – Unlike water fountains you encounter in public places, the stream of water is significant. When using drinking fountains, I’m always frustrated at the small stream of water it provides since I’m conditioned to this faucet.
  • Plenty of room to work with – In addition to not having to crane my neck, the upwards stream provides a lot of real estate to maneuver a toothbrush, cup, or anything else. A lot of kitchen faucets are tall for this reason, but I rarely see them in bathrooms.


  • Looks like a penis.

I have no idea why every faucet in the world isn’t designed this way. It seems like such a smart default, but I really can’t find this type of faucet for sale anywhere. Anyways, I just wanted to share this bit of design love.