Threadbare

This is the third time in the last four years that I’ve been forcibly yanked away from my normal life —both personal and professional — for extended periods of time.

My nervous system is threadbare. My bones are exhausted. My face, neck, and back muscles are on fire. My wife is right there with me. Seemingly every day, brand new lousy events and stressors pile onto our existing sedimentary layers of stress and trauma. I don’t have it in me to get into the details right now, but suffice it to say it’s been relentless.

I’ve walled myself off from the broader world as an act of self preservation, which means that Very Real and Very Terrible macro-level problems aren’t captured in my above sentiments. Of course I catch wind of these events and feel guilty for not being able to give them the thought and action they deserve, but that will have to wait until I’m standing on more solid ground.

So what now? Well for starters, bad stuff just needs to stop happening to me, my family, and the world at large. Every time we think we’re out of the weeds more bad crap seems to happen. We haven’t had a second to catch our breath. My dog died 7 weeks ago and things have been so relentless I haven’t had a chance to grieve or memorialize him.

I’m hoping that things settle down so we can focus on the rest, recovery, and restoration we so desperately need. While I desperately want to do normal people things like visit friends and venture out into the world, first I need to catch up on sleep and take care of my body, mind, and soul. And don’t worry, we’re doing all the appropriate therapeutic things to ensure things don’t get anymore out of hand than they already are.

I’m so incredibly thankful for Josh, Jessi, and Ian for holding down the fort on the work front and giving me all the love, support, time, and space to focus on getting to a better place. I’m truly blessed to have such genuinely amazing human beings as partners. And I’m thankful for all of my clients and collaborators for all their understanding and support as I continue to go through the wringer. I desperately want nothing more than to sit down at my computer and have a normal work week!

I’ve learned a lot about myself over the last few years, and I know I’m incredibly resilient. I know that better days are ahead, and that just like the last few terrible waves that crashed into me, this one will break too. Just…hurry up and break already.