Laser Storm

Brad Frost Laser Storm

This weekend, I took Ella to her cousin's birthday party at Laser Storm on McKnight Road north of Pittsburgh. The small structure is now dwarfed by much larger, newer chain stores, but entering the doors transported me to the same amazing world my cousins and I would visit as tweens.

Behold its majesty:

The laser tag arena entrance: a neon-painted vestibule under a "You Are The Action" banner, with trophies lining the top shelf and a monitor showing the arena

An illuminated rules sign listing No Running, No Crawling, No Diving, No Jumping, No Human Shields, and more, ending with "Violators will be ejected from the game without refund!"

Kids in laser tag vests and headsets lining up at a red-lit door into the arena

Kids running through the dark, blacklit arena past painted brick barriers

Just look at these wall paintings:

A blacklit wall painted with two red-and-black swirling spirals

A wall of warped orange and black stripes with a big red "ENERGIZE" sign and arrow pointing to a charging station

A glowing wall of green and black tunnels, orange checkerboards, and a "Ready Room" door, with blue barrels in front

An orange-and-black spiral vortex painted across a wall, flanked by fake brick barriers dripping with green paint

A floor-to-ceiling orange-and-black funnel painting that makes a stack of barrels look like they're being sucked into a wormhole

A wall of red wavy stripes melting into a black-and-red checkerboard

A blue-and-white vortex blending into a checkerboard under a glowing green "ENERGIZE" sign

Outside of the laser tag arena is the arcade area, equipped with many of the classics.

The busy arcade floor, with kids and parents milling around prize counters, claw machines, and arcade cabinets

Two kids playing air hockey on a "Fast Track" table

A kid rolling a ball up a glowing Skee-Ball lane

For my money, things like this need to be protected at all costs. Sure, it's a commercial enterprise, but the lack of hyper-commercialized logos, franchises, and exploitative sheen is notable. One of the signs bordering the walls says it perfectly:

"It's Not Virtual...It's REAL."

My daughter romping around with her cousins and some random kids is real. Eating bad pizza, getting sugared up, and running around playing games is real. Smoothing out dollar bills and receiving clanging tokens is real. Winning physical tickets and trading them in for penny candy and cheap-o toys is real.

A grinning kid holding up long, tangled strands of prize tickets in one hand and a red cup of tokens in the other

This is real.