1% Cyborg

Well my first cyborg part is in the mail. I’m really excited, but there’s still a long way to go (specifically, 99%) until I reach certifiable cyborg status. And while my first piece of cyborg technology isn’t the most exciting (a bluetooth headset for my cell phone), it is a step in the right direction, especially considering I’ve prepared my soldering iron and extra skin grafts to fuse the headset to my ear.

Oh how I cannot wait to join my quasi-cyborg brethren on the streets! Our violent, obnoxious conversations performed in full public view will be our rallying cry for the cyborg cause, and mere humans will be left bewildered and annoyed by our advanced technology.  Set headset to STUN.

My blueprints are complete and although I can’t yet disclose my cyborg plan, let’s just say there’s an external brain pack involved to make room for the go go gadget copter.